The Missing Experience

rolling stones

No, you can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
– Rolling Stones, 1969 album Let It Bleed. Written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards

When I hear people who are distressed because they aren’t getting what they want, I think of Viktor Frankl. How would it be if you were in a situation where it was clear that you weren’t going to get what you wanted? And if it was clear that you might not get your needs met as fully as you would like? Would it be easier to step out of that illusion of thinking others should somehow be different than how they actually are? And step out of the paradigm of blaming and power struggles?

Viktor Frankl survived living in a concentration camp. His book is aptly titled From Death-Camp to Existentialism. He survived. How about you. Will you survive or at least get by if your needs aren’t met? What would you live for? What would keep you going? Hope is what helped Frankl, even if it turned out there was nothing at the end of the road.

I also return to some words I overheard a Czech restaurateur named Vladimir say to some elderly patrons. They had driven all the way from Santa Rosa to Inverness, CA. The roast duck is always on the menu, but that night – I think it was a Sunday night – it was not available. The man was obviously angry as evidenced by the tautness and redness in his face. To which Vladimir responded with this inculcation: You can’t alvays get vat you vant all of zee time.

Like everyone, I have different sides. Counselor, photographer, writer, cooker of food – both spicy and plain, and seeker of truth and happiness. I have always taken an interest in the unassuming things that pass us by – both heard and seen, both ordinary and not so ordinary. They are all sacred and beautiful in some way.

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