My specialties include helping with the following

  • Communicating and relating more effectively in relationships.
    • If you can understand where others are coming from, instead of feeling threatened or afraid or angry, natural feelings of caring can arise. Instead of antagonism or blame, there's connection.
    • Relationships will thrive if each person learns how to empathize with the other as well as give empathy to themselves.
    • Relating more effectively includes learning how to identify in a neutral way what's actually happening (not as easy as it sounds!), separating thoughts from feelings, separating needs from strategies to get needs met, and finding ways to express requests (as opposed to demands) that will increase your chances of being heard and getting your needs met.
       
  • Improving your sense of self, by getting some relief from the kind of thinking that can keep you more down on yourself than you need to be.
    • When you walk out your door, you can bet there will be someone who will contrive some fault about who you are.  Why add to it?
       
  • Distinguishing between what you can and cannot change. This might lead to any of the approaches below:
    • Improving your own capacity to change your experience, whether it’s your perspective, your mood, your behaviors, or your reactions to people and situations you encounter.
    • Finding ways to be with life as it is, given the challenging circumstances and limitations that we all struggle with.
      “You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf.” – Joseph Goldstein & Jack Kornfield.
       
  • Distinguishing between what's true and meaningful and what's just a story you might be carrying around and inadvertantly perpetuating.
    “Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you have to believe it.” – George Peterson
    • Living more in line with what you feel and believe to be true, and relating to others from that place of deeper self-respect.
    • Feeling more connected to yourself, others, and life itself.
    • Using awareness to put even the tiniest wedge between yourself and your stories or concepts about yourself. Stories refer to the past or the future. Lingering in these realms can prevent you from creating the kind of life you want to create in this present moment and onward.
      “If you’re not interested in presence, you’re just condemning yourself to a lifetime of suffering.” – Leonard Jacobson